Thoughts on Good Friday

I've been thinking a little bit about Good Friday lately (that one's for my siblings: it's how so many of my father's talks began).

I know I’m a little late with this one seeing as it's now Monday and the Easter dress has already made its way to the laundry hamper and the chocolate bunny has been consumed down to the stomach and legs. But, bear with me because sometimes I think one needs to write things out even if they're a little late.

A few bits of clarification before I begin on my diatribe:

- I do NOT feel that we have the most tragic event befallen our family. I think there is some heartbreak to it but there are many others (including you perhaps?) who have it MUCH worse than we do. Please don't interpret this post as a sympathy ploy.

- And this one is difficult for me to write as I am typically a very private person: I struggle with prenatal depression. There, it's out. Life for me during my pregnancies can be very dark and bleak. I try to hide it as best as possible but in my quiet private moments it haunts me and chokes me. This was the case with my first pregnancy as well so it really has little to do with the circumstances of this pregnancy.

And now on to Good Friday. Why Good Friday and not Easter? Well, for this year anyway, Good Friday seems to have more affect on me than Easter. Sometimes as Christians we get carried away with Easter. It's the celebration. It's the reason we are. He was resurrected. He was dead but he ROSE AGAIN. This is fantastic. It's worthy of shouting and a hallelujah or two. That moment of the stone being rolled away and the vacant tomb is enough to base my belief system on. Absolutely! There is nothing wrong with Easter.

But.

Easter could not have happened without Good Friday. The death had to be there. The pain, the suffering, the separation from God. I do NOT want to celebrate that. I want the day off work but I do not want to mourn the heartbreak and sadness that is Good Friday. God turned his face from Jesus. That is a hard fact to wrap my head around. Frankly, let's just move on to the party…

Nope, not this time.

“My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me!” It's there. I can’t avoid it. And it's important. It's key. I need to remember the pain.

Some of you may have noticed the verse I now have posted at the top of our blog. It comes from the Old Testament. The Israelites were instructed (more than once) to remember where they had come from. It's important. In this verse specifically it was referred to as Ebenezer. "Hitherto hath the Lord helped us". God took them OUT of the pain, out of slavery but they were not to forget the pain. Not that they were to dwell on it or become bitter about it but rather that they were to remember that God had been there too. He was there during the milk and honey but he was there during the times in the desert as well.

Sometimes I have the desert and sometimes I have milk and honey. I am called to remember that God was there during both times.

I am a wee bit of a gardener. We moved into this house in August, too late for a summer garden for that year. And yet, I planted some tulips. In fall. This seems odd in a way. Why would I plant tulips in the fall, just before the frost? Well, tulips do BETTER if they have a time of hibernation, a time of cold. That's right, they are better, healthier, stronger and bolder if they go through pain.

Sometimes I am called to pain.

In order for there to be Easter I need to have Good Friday.

And later this year when my tulips are blooming it's important that I don't forget the icy winds of winter.