Week 35 update

Thursday Thirteen

1. TH continues to get flatter.

2. Which, is good for the c-section as it makes things a bit safer for delivery.

3. And, it's also good as there’s a chance that by the time Jack is born strangers that see him with clothes on will likely not even know what is beneath. (just being the protective mom)

4. It appears that Jack will be born on May 22nd. A Thursday. As it should be.

5. Which is sad in that initially they were toying with May 15th and now this means that I will have to be pregnant for one more week.

6. And I know it shouldn't be about me and I shouldn't be whining with all that's gone on but goodness does pregnancy seem never-ending some days.

7. It also terrifies me that (as the 22nd is only 3 days from his due date) I will go into labour beforehand. Yes, they will still do the c-section but um, I will also have contractions. Seems to me that that then becomes the worst of both worlds.

8. We met with the surgeon again.

9. He threw out a few more options and possibilities. But "we won’t know until he is born and tests have been run". And we're done with those. We're sick of them. Don't throw any more stuff at us unless it's something you know for sure.

10. He's a very smart man who is the top in his field for a reason. That being said, he does not spend a lot of time speaking in layman's terms and we mostly sit there stunned and confused. I could have kissed our nurse when at one point (and after the surgeon had been going into medical terms about the "fetus" for far too long) she piped up "His name is Jack".

11. Speaking of kissing near strangers: J-L has been having a rough week. Things have been hitting him hard about Jack and at one point he mentioned this to our doctor. In his words: "I just feel like I should be able to fix it. I'm the dad. That's my job." To which our doctor said: "You ARE fixing it. You are here week after week AND you are caring for your wife and daughter. Do you know how many men disappear or stop coming to appointments when things don't look good?"

12. J-L is able to take the Thursday (the 22nd) and Friday (the 23rd) off as personal days as well as the following week still leaving us 2 weeks for a trip this summer. As I said to him in the van leaving the hospital: "I NEED that trip. It's my light." We’re just so thankful with our understanding job situations.

13. We're a little down today. I don't know if either of us have figured out why as things aren't any better or worse this appointment than any other. But, he left there wanting some fried chicken and I've been wanting cheesecake all afternoon. Easy this ain't.

Week 34 update

This week J-L and I decided to place a bet as to Jack's weight. Whoever loses has to buy the other person a treat of his/her liking on Saturday.

J-L’s guess: 5 lbs. 4 oz.
Cynthia’s guess: 5 lbs. 6 oz.
Jack’s weight: 5 lbs. 11 oz.

Yes, that does mean I'll be enjoying some sort of treat. But, for those of you keeping track it also means that Jack has gained nearly a pound in a week! (No comments about the ice cream consumption helping that out, darien.) And for any of those who might be curious, the average weight of a baby in week 34? Um, according to 3 different websites: about 5 pounds. As our nurse said as she measured his head: "Whoa, good thing you’re not pushing THAT out."

Other tidbits:

- Next week the surgeon will be visiting again. He wants to see an updated ultrasound of Jack as he hasn't seen one in awhile.

- We signed a consent form this week. A consent form that says that they can take photos of our son to use in medical publications. To quote our doctor: "Because, when we discovered this about Jack, we couldn't track down any research about it and we'd like to help any doctors who may come across this in the future." And we understand. And we want to help too. But, goodness, does that bring about a mix of emotions: The scary reminder of how rare and unusual this is. But, also, the happiness that perhaps someday in the future we'll be able to offer some other desperate parents some hope. (And yes, I did make sure to ask if we could receive copies of any publications done.)

- Next week we will also likely learn what Jack's birthdate will be. It's ironic in a way, hey? For all the (and there are too many to count) unknowns of this pregnancy and the upcoming c-section and his life (and ours) post-delivery, there are several details (name, sex, birthdate, approximate size) things that we know that most expecting parents do not.

Week 33 update

And there it is, that word again:

Hope has a way of turning it's face to you
just when you least expect it
you walk in a room
you look out a window
and something there leaves you breathless

Hey, if this blog does nothing else it'll get you hooked on Sara Groves.

Our version for today:

Hope has a way of making you cry
just when you least expect it
you ask the question you're afraid to ask
for fear of the answer
and the answer lets you breathe

The question: Will we be able to hold Jack after he is born or will he be whisked away to NICU right away? Will Cynthia (it was J-L who asked the question) be able to nurse him?

The answer: Assuming his heart is doing well and he's breathing fine you'll be able to spend some time with him before he goes.

Thank you.

At one time, some 13 weeks ago we wondered if he'd make it to 40 weeks. We wondered if he'd live. And now it seems that we might even be able to HOLD him when he's born.

Exhale.

And other than that the appointment went well. He's now 4 lbs. 13 oz. He's still doing well our boy. Our beautiful boy.

Week 32 - Getting closer

Due to a much needed holiday that my girls are taking, we had to move up the ultrasound to this morning. We had a full room today at the WP; Nurse L, Doctor K, Grandma, H, N, J, M, Abby, Cynthia and me. Things are looking great for our little boy. The tumour is now 0.41, thanks to Jack growing and the growth flattening out . I don't care why the ratio is down, but it is. We got some really good 3D shots too, which is always a bonus. His little man-face and hairy noggin stole the show this morning. If I do say so myself, our son is a handsome little dude. Apparently our boy is not shy; he has no problem showing off his business, much to the chagrin of his female cousins in attendance. All in all today was, to quote a friend of mine, wicked awesome.

The news has been more encouraging as every week passes, and while I want to shout from the rooftops that it is only smooth sailing ahead (or at least it feels that way), I have to be careful to not get too confident or complacent, because that's the time when something silly will happen. I don't want silly, I don't need silly. Therefore, from here on in I shall remain cautiously optimistic.

In 7 weeks, we get to hold our son. Thank you God. You rock.

J-L

P.S. Thanks for stopping by to check us out, we really appreciate it.

A letter to my wife

* I had this post up briefly a couple of days ago, but took it down because I thought that this wasn't the place for it. But since you all know so much about us, this is the place for it. And besides that, I want it here. So there.

Cynthia,

I love you.

I know how difficult this pregnancy has been on you. With Abby, you suffered through prenatal depression, as you do now with Jack. Compounding that is The Himp on Jack's back, the growth that makes us mad, sad and frustrated. The mass that makes us tired, fearful, and anxious. I just wanted you to know that you have been handling it all so well, and that I am very proud of you. It would be so easy for you to just shut down and spend every evening in bed, but you don't do that. You still get on the floor to play with our beautful little girl, still entertain our friends on Thursday nights, and still give so much to Kidventure at church. I wish I knew how you did it, because I don't think I could.

You are strong, Moodge, much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I know sometimes you think that you are not handling it very well, but you are. Even when you are having trouble breathing because Jack is practicing his Riverdance routine on your lungs, or when the world seems to be coming down around you, you persevere. You do what you have to do. Not everyone could/would, but you do.

As I said before, I am very proud of you, and I am honoured to be your husband. Thanks just doesn't seem to be enough, but thank you so much for going through all this for our family. You are the best wife and Mommy a guy and a little girl and boy could ask for. We are lucky and blessed to have you.

I love you.

Your boy.

April

It is April 1st today. Know what THAT means? No, this wasn't some grand April Fool's Day scheme. Sigh. It means that I can now officially say that we're having a baby next month. NEXT MONTH! YAY!