"Normal"

There was a moment during today's ultrasound when Dr. Schneider typed that word on the screen. I think it is the most beautiful word at the moment. That's probably what I wish for more than anything else.

A normal pregnancy.
A normal birth.
A normal son.

And maybe I get to have ONE of those someday in the next few years. We shall see and we shall hope and we shall pray.

Right now everything still seems to be in a state of uncertainty. They still don't know what it is but they are close to ruling out two things. It does not seem to be a standard tumour and it does not appear to be malignant. And the wait and see game continues... indefinitely.

I asked the surgeon if it is completely unreasonable to think that one day our son will be born, have this removed and will be completely normal in every other way. He (obviously) cannot guarantee anything but he also did not suggest that that is completely unreasonable. I will take any glimpses of hope that I can get.

And back to that word again: Normal. Dr. Schneider typed it in in reference to his heart. His heart seems to be going strong and seems to be completely fine. This is the biggest concern. They now believe that the mass is made up of a lot of blood vessels. A LOT of blood vessels. The tumour seems to be close to the same size as his head. And so they will watch it. We now have a standing date at the women's pavilion on Thursday afternoons. They will watch his heart and they will watch the growth of the mass.

There are things to be thankful for:
- thus far it appears that the growth is 100% external which means it is not affecting his organs
- thus far his heart is beating as it should
- it does not appear to be malignant
- we have an amazing doctor and team looking after us
- we both work at places that are kind to us even though we need many hours off work

There are still many things to pray for:
- our sanity
- Jack's heart to stay strong (I said to J-L that if he lives through all this Jack should be an athlete because his heart will be the strongest out there.)
- no growth in the mass
- 129 (give or take a few) more days in my womb

Again, thank you for your continued prayers. I'm sure we will continue to update this blog with our thoughts and worries but it might not be as continual a flow as we try to live Thursday to Thursday. You can count on at least an entry every Thursday afternoon.