And so it goes

I feel as though I need to come on here regularly as I promised I would. And yet, there is just so little to tell.

The appointment with the geneticist felt like a giant waste of time. (Although as a complete aside: He looked exactly what a geneticist should look like. A cross between this and this.) There is nothing genetic about this tumour and I think they knew that all along. Don't get me wrong, I understand the need to look into every possibility but emotionally it becomes very draining to answer the exact same questions over and over and over again.

We met with Dr. Schneider again. I believe she will be our main contact throughout all this and I could almost write sonnets about her. She is lovely and is doing without a doubt what God put her on this earth to do. She is smart and kind and wants so badly to give us answers and to give us hope. But, she can't and I have a feeling that's tremendously hard on her. I have a feeling she is scouring the medical books every night since she first viewed the ultrasound. And we get to hear words like "very unusual" and "extremely rare" and if it's X there are only about 100 cases worldwide which are all very exhausting words to hear and make me want to crawl into bed and close my eyes until this is all over.

Then it was time to head over to the General Hospital for our MRI. Goodness, that was fun (she says, sarcastically). Because (a) Jack moves so much and (b) he's so tiny and (c) (in case we haven't reiterated it enough) they've never seen anything like it I am stuck inside that white tube for what seemed like hours but I believe in total was about 45 minutes. 45 minutes of not moving. About 20 minutes in I felt as though my arms were going to fall off from the pressure of being in the same position. I actually had thoughts of: Was labour worse than this? I know, crazy but that did enter my brain.

And now we wait some more. And it's very doubtful that they'll get good images from the MRI or that they will be at all useful. And it's so hard not to be frustrated. The next step after that is a meeting with the surgeon (who will also not be able to tell us anything). The following step is for them to inject a needle into the tumour to see what type of cells they are and if they are malignant or benign. But that has to wait. They don't want to do it too early as it puts Jack at risk and they want him to be a bit bigger first.

And so it goes.